Victorious

ॐ गणानां त्वा गणपतिं हवामहे
कविं कवीनामुपमश्रवस्तमम् ।
ज्येष्ठराजं ब्रह्मणाम् ब्रह्मणस्पत
आ नः शृण्वन्नूतिभिःसीदसादनम् ॥
ॐ महागणाधिपतये नमः ॥

Om Gannaanaam Tvaa Ganna-Patim Hava-Amahe

Kavim Kaviinaam-Upama-Shravas-Tamam |

Jyessttha-Raajam Brahmannaam Brahmannas-Pata

Aa Nah Shrnnvan-Nuutibhih-Siida-Saadanam ||

Om Mahaa-Ganna-Adhipataye Namah ||

Meaning:
1: Om, O Ganapati, To You Who are the Lord of the Ganas (Celestial Attendants or Followers), we Offer our Sacrificial Oblations,
2: You are the Wisdom of the Wise and the Uppermost in Glory,
3: You are the Eldest Lord (i.e. ever Unborn) and is of the Nature of Brahman (Absolute Consciousness); You are the Embodiment of the Sacred Pranava (Om),
4: Please come to us by Listening to our Prayers and be Present in the Seat of this Sacred Sacrificial Altar.
5: Om, our Prostrations to the Mahaganadhipati (the Great Lord of the Ganas).

~

The boy opened his eyes and looked to his Sri Ganesh figurine sitting on a tray which hovered at the foot of his bed.

He turned to his Mother, who was praying aloud.

I looked up to catch him watching me closely with sleepy eyes.

"Mom, what prayer is that...I recognize some of the Sanskrit."

"It's a prayer to Sri Ganesh..."

He had been almost a week in the hospital in unending pain...vomiting crude oil continuously...yet I felt despite this... he was trying to find a way to tactfully ask what had been on his heart for several months.

I closed my eyes and sighed...

"Birdy... the reason I no longer sing... or pray... or have Lord Shiva in our home is because I am trying to save you a life of misery and mental anguish.

The child nodded...but I could not tell if he really understood the gravity of our situation...nor was it the time or place.

He looked at me with infinite patience, waiting for me to finish and I sighed heavily.

"Birdy... I Love Shiva with all my heart... but almost every American I have ever known to go down this path has face severe adversity."

"It isn't just about losing connection with this anglo-xtian society...because we will never fit in here."

"It's about not being accepted, it's about never ever... EVER being vegetarian again.  Do you understand me???  I know your heart. I know you will probably be Hindu too. But you can never stop eating meat.  I don't care who tries to guilt you for this...our bodies, our genetics can not handle it."

I wiped my tears from my eyes and tried to explain.

 "It gutted me to take Lord Shiva out of my life...and our home.  But, the thought of you dying from  this thing i have... what your uncle died from..  and it's not just as simple as that.. if it had been... I would not be here.

It's the loss of our faculties... losing our mind before we die that was unacceptable."

Birdy, violently ill... his emergency appendectomy and severe infection had caused ileus.

Yet, he sat here listening and nodding as if we were at home on the porch.  

"Promise me Birdy...you will never be vegetarian."

Birdy looked back at his Sri Ganesh and nodded.

"Okay, then I will be able to bring Lord Shiva back into our home.  I am not sure if I can ever believe 100% that He really exists out there... but I hope."

The door cracked open as the very young nurse came in carrying a handful of items.  She looked at us with sincere compassion.

"I know this is going to be painful...but we have to put the NG tube back in..."

He took the Ganesh and placed it in his hand and then put my hand on top of his.  We held this small Ganesh as they made three attempts to put the tube into his nose and down to his stomach ...filled with blackish green tar. 

He begged them for air... coughed and for the first time, since this whole event began... he had a single tear come down his cheek.

A tiny whisper escaped his lips...

"I can not breathe."

    The nurse had managed to put this tube into his lungs three times...and then forced it to go forward.  The last attempt..she kept it taped down and inside his lungs while they verified it had made it into his stomach...wheeled him down to xray... discovered it in his lungs... ripped it out back in his room.

As they ripped it out, yet again... it was covered in blood.

He began to vomit again as I helped to sit him up in bed so he could finally breathe.

As the nurse left the room I looked to my sweet child...

His wide blue eyes and golden hair, never dulled by illness...combined with his pale skin, made him unearthly luminescent in the dimly lit room.

                       He is the kindest child...always sharing...never complains.

He never will tell you when he is hurting or lacking...always thinking of others first.

On the way to surgery... he worried how much money we would have to pay to the hospital.

Though we have never mentioned a cost... or worry over such things.. this child was concerned it would make our family suffer.

This child... who loans out his only ear buds to a poor child in his class who can not afford them.

A bully broke them when this other child was using them.

Our son came home so worried about them being broke.

 A True soul.... he can not lie...gentle to every living thing... respectful and loving.

Yet here he was... suffering so badly... it was gut wrenching.

I looked to him as I caressed his face...

                                      "Beloved... this ... this is why I know Karma can not exist.

For you... a child so loving... never to have made the slightest of wrong doing...

Yet you suffer..."

"The law of Return Birdy... it only works when we work at it."

I looked at him again and smiled.

"When you get out of here I am going to buy you any game for Xbox One that you wish..."

I knew what game that would be... 

"For every bad thing that happens to you here... this Mother... will make 100 good things happen to you..."

"This is the true law of Return.  Each of us has it in our power to enforce this... by giving of ourselves to others in need... who are suffering...we become the hero...and Shiva is our ideal.

We can not wait for God to come and save the day... we must be the hand... be the hero."

"and another thing... the best stories always have a point where the hero stumbles, gets back up and is victorious... isn't that true??"

Birdy nodded.

After, over a week in the hospital... I am happy to report that the Birdy returned home last night to our hill...and to a bunch of loving brothers and sisters waiting for him.

He and I both cried again and held each other as we arrived through the door.

As I held him gently I whispered...

"This is in the rear view mirror for us now.  Let it pass by... 

We made it."

Birdy smiled...and the Son Shine Returned to our Hill.

You may say we are cursed... yet I would say to you...

The cursed could never be victorious.

and...

We are victorious.